After the War is Over

Last event, with Dan Schoun, Mike Lavis, Bob Minton, and Mike Rush

It has been a little more than three years since I hung up my sword for good and retired from Civil War reenacting. For twenty years it was an activity that pretty much dominated my life. Extremely rewarding and fulfilling, it was nonetheless time to move on to other things. Those twenty years are filled with more than a lifetime’s memories. People met and friendships made, places seen and experienced, adventures lived with good friends. I remember when I knew it was time to give up this pursuit of recreating Civil War life. It was a June weekend in Virginia, just East of Richmond. We were recreating a series of battles that took place between Ulysses Grant and Robert E. Lee in 1864. It was an ambitious event to plan and execute. Hundreds of yards of earthen trenches and defensive works, multiple battle scenarios, and hundreds of reenactors to coordinate. As Union Army Chief of Staff, I enjoyed the organizational aspects of my duties and how doing so put me in contact with commanders from all over the country. There was great satisfaction in seeing carefully laid plans come to life on the battlefield to create an experience for the reenactors and provide a glimpse in to the past for the spectators.

Gettysburg, 2008 with Thad and Gus Gallagher

It happens as my very good friend Mike Rush and I were walking across the battlefield area on a Saturday afternoon. Dog tired from little sleep and a myriad of things to attend to, I looked over at Mike and said, “You know, I think I would rather be golfing.” He agreed and then and there I determined this would be my last event. There was a bit of sadness to the decision, but not as much as I would have thought. More surprising was the reaction from fellow reenactors and non-reenacting friends when I shared my decision. “What do you mean you are retiring,” they asked. “This is who you are.” And that is the interesting thing. All this time I viewed reenacting as something I did, but for others, it was who I was. Yes, I spent much of my time involved in the hobby and logged thousands of miles to places like Gettysburg, Shiloh, Antietam, Chickamauga, and more. I had spent the last eight years serving as chief of staff for events throughout Ohio and the country. But for all of that, it was still just an activity.

2010 with my mount “Jeffy”

I recall one of my good friends Bob Minton commenting a few years ago that, if it wasn’t for reenacting, he doubted he would stay in touch with many of his friends in uniform. He even commented that he doubted we would stay connected if it wasn’t for the hobby. One of the gratifying things these past three years is that Bob and I have stayed in touch and are good friends still. Yes, I have lost contact with many others, but those that mattered are still close. I am reminded of Ulysses Grant and how he was remembered after the war. World famous for being the commander who ended our Civil War, Grant’s persona since has been as an army general with a secondary awareness as our 18^th President. But I think Grant himself did not identify as either. He saw himself as a husband and father first and foremost. Being a soldier and serving as president were just things he did, not who he was.

We often identify people by what they do. Doctor, lawyer, teacher, actor, or whatever. In truth, who we are, hopefully is more about our relationships with others and who we are in daily life. Outside the spotlight and public eye. This is who we come home to every day and who those in our real lives see. And that, it seems is where our focus should be. Grant worried more about being a good husband and provider and a good father than he did about being a good general or president. Those were jobs he had, not who he was. So, as I reflect on those 20 years of reenacting and look toward the years to come, I will appreciate the kind words from friends around the country for the work in uniform but will cherish the people I share life with as just me.